Everything happens all at once!!!

Mike starts double sessions today!!! So that means he is gone from 7am until 9pm everyday for the next week. If that is not enough... Two days ago I went to the Drs. with a horrible pain in my side. (I'm due for a Cat Scan to see If I could be potentially passing a kidney stone)

Then just before Mike was leaving for his very long day... Cameron spikes a fever!!! For those that don't know Cameron's history... Cameron is prone to have Febrile Seizures. So this means I don't just put my child on the couch let him watch TV feed him chicken soup and let him nap all day... This means a regimented schedule of Motrin and Tylenol... Frequent temp checks and Ice to the neck and joints depending on how high the temp gets. And of course he's still a little boy who thinks he can play at his normal speed(which with Cameron is Hyper speed) he hates being sick so I often get the brunt of his misery (when he was real little he used to just come up and hit me for no reason)... If that is not enough the Icing on the cake... Cameron is not the only one with a fever. Sadie has one too. With Sadie we can be a little more relaxed because she has not had a febrile seizure however we Feel that genetics are not in her favor considering Mike and I had the same condition that Cameron has. So we treat Sadie close to the same way we do Cameron (a few less temp checks and ice to the neck only if the fever gets really high) So I could use all the prayers I can get!! Pray that I can stay sane, calm, we are outside people and being stuck inside with beautiful sunshine outside is very hard for all the Johnstons'

This will be over in a week (lets hope)!

Let it out!!!

(Just thought I put up pictures of some views of peace and happiness)

This is me totally laughing at how silly my mind works...
For those who knew me back in the day... (talking middle school, high school, and maybe even a little of college) I was known as a "crier" I could cry at the drop of a hat!!! For absolutely silly reasons.

Well in my old age... (hahaha) I worked really hard at not being that way!!! I've concluded I've been successful. (for those of you who knew me back then ask Mike he'll tell you he knew me then and knows me now!!!) I've reverted to the other extreme that I hardly ever cry. There is occasional cry if I testify at church or share my heart to a large group of people, oh yea and the postpartum craziness but I just wont let myself cry any more... "I have to be a rock for my kiddos... Crying will make Mike feel bad... I can't show any sort of weakness... There is no time to cry". Etc. However in my success I created a new issue. I carry my stress on my shoulders and back. Because of my new found "strength" I'm suffering incredibly. I have the worst kinks and knots in my back that I can't even take a deep breath... Everything in moderation the experts say... Well maybe I should let myself cry in moderation too.

So for those of you criers out there I commend you!!! Learn from me Don't stop. Just let it out!!!

Potty Blues!!!

So I thought I went into this potty thing with pretty reasonable expectations. I knew there would accidents GALORE!!! However I thought that he would have at least one successful go at the potty. I also expected it to take 3 days for him to get it (just like everything else in Cameron's life) Plus he was so excited to use the potty this morning that I thought alright this is good, but good night!!! We have had lots of accidents (totally expected), But NO successes. I'm feeling like maybe I'm pushing to hard On the other hand Cameron has always had to have things done cold turkey. He is a creature of habit. HE HATES CHANGE!!! (I have no idea where he gets that from hahahaha for those who know me!!!) For example as a baby at 7 months I had to pull the plug on night feedings, I had to let him cry it out and it took 3 days. At 10months I had to ween him from taking naps in his car seat. (also took 3 days of crying at nap time) When we moved it took him 3 days of adjusting... for him to sleep until a normal hour of the morning. So I feel that I need to give this 3 days, but could he please have one successful go at it!! (Wait we may have a break through he was just standing next to me and he pulled down his pants and said, "I need to go poopies" PLEASE LET IT HAPPEN!!! I think I need it more then him)

Well there is hope and the day is not over!!! Pray that I have wisdom and patience for this new journey I'm embarking on!!!

My Baby Boy is 3!!!

So 3 years ago today I gave birth to the most precious and energetic boy in the world!!! (I'm totally bias)

I was thinking back to the day he was born and just thought I would share a little.

My epidural was amazing until it ran out after hours of pushing and making NO PROGRESS!!!
When the Doctor recommended a C-section, He "kindly" began informing me that I was not less of a woman for going this route I kindly (in the midst of excruciating pain) said, "You could take this kid out my nose for all I care JUST GET THIS BABY out!!!" It's totally funny how you become another person when in that much pain. Poor Mike got yelled at in the delivery room when he tried to console me by holding my hand. I responded with a resound "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" You always see women on TV say that to there husbands, and I often think the media does a poor job portraying real life events, often exaggerating them... But the media got that one right!!!

Many of my memories of that day and the days to follow are...
~The shear joy/excitement when Mike announced that the baby was a boy.
~And the way I felt every time the nurse would bring Cameron to me first thing in the morning. I truly experienced Joy when that little boy was returned after just a few hours of sleep!!!
~ The silly postpartum emotions of looking at my Son with panic and saying "are you really a Cameron. Did we pick the right name???"
~ Excessive crying in the middle of the night for no reason what so ever
~ Once we were home the 3 hours of crying that he would do from 3pm-6pm.
~ The pure angst I felt towards Mike for being able to lay there and sleep while I had to painfully nurse every 2-3 hours through out the night. And that my world had been turned upside down while his "appeared" to remain the same.

Having a baby is one of the most JOYFULLY Hard things you will ever experience (for those of you who maybe experiencing it now) I've concluded that is just how parenting is... Joyfully HARD!!! Once you get through the night feedings you deal with sleep training and then you enter the terrible twos followed by potty training and goodness knows what follows that (I can only look forward to them). So I hope that I can parent with a joyful spirit, but I'm confident that I will have those days when I pull out my hair yell... and other days where I enjoy every little thing my kids do and of course just think "could you get any cuter" (pic of Cameron Lovin' his new baby sister)

I must share one of those cuter then cute moments I just recently had with Cameron. While in Maine one night Mike had put Cameron To bed. At around 11:30pm (I was about 30min. into a very comfortable sleep) I hear a thud and crying coming from the room our kids were sleeping in) I run into a completely pitch black room(I could not see a blessed thing) I hear Cameron crying from the floor. As I reach down to my crying child who is wedged between the bed and a chair plus all tangled in his covers. He is traumatized from being abruptly woken up because he has fallen from his bed ... He so sweetly and Kindly says... "oh thank you mommy, thank you". As if I had just saved him from a near death experience. This just amazed me, Even in that moment my almost 3 year old had truly expressed gratitude!!! He was so grateful for my rescue. My kids amaze me daily.

Happy birthday to my 3 year old Cameron Michael Who has brought me such "over all joy" and amazes me in the funniest little ways.